5 Things I learned From Doing Homemaking Wrong
I remember the day I sat in the kitchen, staring at the sink full of dishes, feeling completely defeated. The kids were bickering over a math lesson, laundry was spilling out of baskets, and dinner was nowhere near being started. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and convinced I was failing at everything—homemaking, homeschooling, motherhood.
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. I know what it’s like to wonder if you’re doing enough, to feel like the house is never quite clean enough, the meals aren’t planned well enough, and the homeschooling isn’t structured enough. But here’s what I learned—failure isn’t what I thought it was. And it certainly wasn’t the end of my story.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
When we feel like we’re failing as homemakers, it’s often because we’ve set impossible standards for ourselves. We think we have to have a perfectly decorated, spotless home, homemade meals every night, well-behaved children who love learning, and the energy to do it all with a smile. But that’s not reality.
I had to learn that being a good homemaker and homeschool mom didn’t mean meeting some imaginary standard of perfection. It meant creating a home filled with love, peace, and joy—even when there were crumbs on the floor and mismatched socks in the drawers.
I thought I was failing because I couldn’t do everything perfectly, but the truth was, I was showing up—and that mattered most. I was teaching my children, making a house a home, and loving my family. That is success.
How I Stopped Feeling Like a Failure
Overcoming that feeling of failure wasn’t instant. It took time, prayer, and intentional changes. Here’s what helped me shift my mindset and reclaim the joy of homemaking and homeschooling:
Changed My Definition of Success
Instead of measuring success by how clean my house was or how structured my homeschool days were, I started focusing on the atmosphere of my home. Was there laughter? Were my children learning and growing in their own way? Was I being kind to myself? That mattered more than a spotless kitchen.
Gave Myself Grace
I used to be my own worst critic. I wouldn’t have spoken to a friend the way I spoke to myself in my mind. I had to start treating myself with kindness. Homemaking is a long game—it’s not about perfection every single day but about showing up and doing the best we can with what we have.
Created Simple Routines
One of the biggest sources of my stress was feeling like I was constantly behind. I started simplifying—setting small, manageable routines instead of trying to do everything at once. A quick 15-minute tidy-up in the morning and evening helped me keep the house in order without feeling overwhelmed. Meal planning (even loosely) made dinnertime easier. Small habits made a big difference.
Asked for Help
I don’t have to do everything alone, and neither do you. My kids learned how to help with chores, and I stopped feeling guilty for leaning on my husband for support. We’re a family—we do this together.
Embraced a Cottagecore Mindset
A mindset shift changed everything: I started romanticizing my daily tasks. I used to dread mealtime—it felt like another obligation in a long list of things to do. But when I began embracing the cottagecore way of living, everything changed.
Instead of rushing through dinner prep, I began setting the table with lovely linens, lighting candles, and using my favorite thrifted dishes. I made it an experience, not just another meal. The simple act of slowing down, appreciating the beauty in homemaking, and creating a cozy atmosphere turned something I dreaded into something I cherished.
Atmosphere has so much power over our mindset. A cluttered, chaotic space can make us feel overwhelmed, but a home filled with little touches of beauty—a vase of fresh flowers, soft lighting, a warm cup of tea—can make even the most mundane tasks feel special. When I shifted my focus from simply “getting things done” to creating a home that felt peaceful and welcoming, I started enjoying homemaking in a way I never had before.
Want to bring more beauty and joy into your daily tasks? Want more ways to bring this mindset into your daily life? Check out How to Romanticize Your Life with Cottagecore—you’ll find simple ways to turn everyday moments into something magical., where I share how simple things—like hanging fresh herbs to dry, wearing a pretty apron, or keeping a handwritten homemaking journal—can make daily life feel enchanting. It’s filled with ideas on making even the simplest routines feel magical.
Practical Tips to Be a More Peaceful Homemaker
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are a few things that can help:
Start small. If your house feels chaotic, choose one area to focus on. Just make the kitchen sink sparkle, and let that be enough for today.
Use timers. Set a timer for 10 minutes and clean as much as you can. It’s amazing what you can accomplish in a short time!
Simplify meals. You don’t have to cook an elaborate dinner every night. Have a few go-to easy meals that require minimal effort.
Create beauty in small ways. Light a candle, play soft music while you cook, or set the table with cloth napkins. Little touches can transform your mindset.
Embrace imperfection. Life isn’t meant to be perfectly curated. Your home is a place for living, not a showroom.
Remember your “why.” You’re not just cleaning and cooking—you’re creating a home, a safe space for your family to grow. That’s a beautiful thing.
You Are Enough
If you’ve been feeling like a failure, let me remind you—you are doing more than you realize. You are creating a home where love dwells. You are teaching your children, even on the hard days. You are showing up, even when you feel exhausted.
And that, my friend, is what makes you a wonderful homemaker.
So take a deep breath, pour yourself a cup of tea, and know that you are enough. 💛
Brooke
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I’m Brooke, a homeschool mom with a deep love for French Country elegance and a growing passion for Cottagecore. My journey began with a fascination for the timeless charm of French Country style, and as I embraced the beauty of simplicity, I naturally gravitated towards Cottagecore. Over time, I’ve woven these two aesthetics together, creating a cozy, sustainable home that reflects the best of both worlds. Thank you for joining me on this journey—I can’t wait to share more about the enchanting blend of French Country and Cottagecore living with you!
Homemaking isn’t about perfection, but I sure tried to make it that way. I spent hours cleaning, only to feel like I was always behind. I micromanaged our homeschool days, making them stressful instead of joyful. Looking back, I see where I went wrong—and these 5 lessons changed the way I do things forever